NEW ARRIVALS
Gargantuan Chopsticks
$2,342.00
- Perfect for stabbing someone who ratted you for lying about kissing the prince
- Sometimes used for rolling dough
- Good for Asian moms to spank you with
- Antennas
- Good for picking your nose
- 3000 lbs of yarn is included
The Dazzling Almond
$18.00
- A wonderful gift for your crazy af sister
- Almond-scented
- When the candle burns out, you will find a single almond at the bottom
- 3 bottles of Tequila made of tears are included
- Worth more than your life you crack hoe
- Colors come in: bland tan, coffee chunks, burned edamame beans, dirt, and dead innocence
Bottle of Sadness
$34.00
- Made from genuine tears
- A daily dosage of the amount Haiden Schreave cries
- Use if you're high/for hangovers
- Gift to way too perky people
- Make sure you're hydrated bc you will cry a lot
- Don't pee and cry or you will die
- Watch lots of dog videos
Sweaty Sweetheart Sweatpants
$9,087,674.00
- You can't wear these sweatpants
- Usually worn while reading trashy romance novels
- Perfect for a date with the prince by the mountains
- Dangerous for 17+
- Comes with a Rolf Sartorius
- Will feel the urge to sing cringy 12-year old created songs
Shit Stick
$543.79
- "For all the shit people give you"
- Pick up opinions you didn't ask for
- Works best for blobfish
- For animal freaks
Dirt Bed
$2.55
- "It'll barry you alive"
- Entire script of "The Bee Movie" written on the inside
- Made to bury those sins
- 468 free jars of honey included for your funeral
Unicorn Ass
$1.98 - $1,894.76
- "For that frilly personality!"
- Spin to make your problems disappear
- Comes in Pink, Rainbow, and Clear
- A tutu for that donkey that aspires to be a unicorn one day
Dance Dance Revolt
$99,999,999.99
- Dance your tiny heart out
- Gr8 for exercising
- For lazy people
- K-POP music included
- Made for 2.5+
- Comes with Free Words + a deodorant stick
All proceeds go to a charity in honor of Queen Alize's Contributions